I like flying. I really do. I like the sense of going somewhere. I marvel that just over a hundred years ago it wasn't possible at all. Less than 50 years ago it was out of reach of most. Now it is routine.
But it is amusing to watch people in airports. First of all, everyone can you please relax a bit? You will most likely get where you want to go with a minimum of fuss. The simple rules.
Yes the TSA and security check points are a hassle. I saw a guy who seemed a normal businessman try to take a bottle of water onto the plane. He complained to the screener who told him he couldn't. First of all, the screener isn't going to change his mind, and second - where have you been? If you want to complain find some terrorist and have a go at him. We can all help each other get through the line faster:
a) don't wear metal - you'll get through the metal detector faster (obvious right?)
b) put your liquids in the little plastic bags just like they tell you to do (obvious right?)
c) have your laptop computer out or don't bring one (obvious right?)
d) wear coat and shoes that are easy to take on and off (obvious right?)
e) have your documents, ID and boarding pass ready (obvious right?)
It's really not that hard - but you'd be surprised how many people can't get this right!
Airport staff have seen it all before. Remember they are in airports almost every day and have probably seen every possible passenger. You are not special.
The weather is not anyone's fault. Well if you believe in man-made global climate change, then actually maybe it is your fault for traveling and spreading that carbon footprint around in the first place, so double-no-complaining for you!
Do you really think you deserve an upgrade to business class? Business class fares pay for the rest of us in coach to fly cheaper. if you want business class well pony up and pay. These days the seat assignment is so good that there aren't many spare seats anyway. If you do get in-voluntarily upgraded enjoy it, but don't expect it!
If you can't read your seat assignment and line up when it is called, well I really feel sorry for you. But if you can, then why not just line up when asked? there will be room in the overhead bin for your carry-on and it'll go smoother for everyone if we all just board in order by row number. How hard is that? You can sit down until called.
And why the rush to get up at the gate before the seat belt sign goes off? The door doesn't open any sooner.
Parents - I feel for you, but now is the time to control your kids. For all those good parents out. Thank you! We appreciate it!
Couples who are fighting - get it together at least for the flight. Please for the rest of us?
And here are a few for the airlines:
If there is an entertainment system, could you please turn it on sooner? Why the huge wait between announcements and starting the system?
Do mobile phones really interfere with the airplane's sensitive electronics? If they did then planes would be falling out of the sky because I'm sure people forget all the time. No system that relies on all of us silly passengers doing the right thing all the time will ever work - but you knew that. Of course I'm thankful that nobody is yapping all the time so perhaps we can work out a compromise here.
If things do mess up, just give us some options. I know you can (and generally you do).
And here's a shout-out to everyone at Minneapolis/St.Paul Int'l Airport: Great Job! The other day I landed from Tokyo and from door opening to being at my connecting gate to a flight to Madison, Wisconsin took only 30 minutes! Immigration, Customs, Delta/Northwest agents - everyone was great. I've been flying to/from MSP for over 20 years and it's just about as efficient and friendly every time in all kinds of weather. The agents at gate F2 the day I was there were also very professional and good with passengers.
Happy flying!
